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The koon-ut-so'lik is (apparently) made when a Vulcan wishes to choose their own mate, as Vorik - who was interested in choosing B'Elanna Torres as his mate - gave her the ritual proposal. Usually, in cases of marriage, Vulcans are bonded to their mate at childhood by their parents and when the time for Pon farr occurs, they seek the mate out. Howevever, on certain conditions the Vulcan might not be bonded and thus are free to choose a mate at which point they invoke the koon-ut-so'lik. (VOY episode: "Blood Fever")